Archipelago New Mexico-Arizona

     Autistic  Archipelago   

The problem is that we

Overdevelop Theme

And loose perspective, and time,  

And may even  get lost  

As far as  what is important  

As we rush into the future 

In our thoughts, 

The future that we like 

But rarely happens 

Because we spent too much time 

There 

And not in Now. 

How to be in Now? 

The problem is ...

Continuing from: Archipelago 14-21 Texas - New Mexico

Posting from Home  (backtracking) - Notes from the road

April 8-10 Arizona

The morning after the last night (4-8-13) in New Mexico, I drove out from the Bluewater Lake State Park north towards I-40 and then took I-40 towards Gullup thinking maybe to go to Window Rock; a mechanic at the car service raved to me about it. 

This is how the country looks pretty much there from I-40 on a way to 491...

And so I got off I-40 onto 491 and then to 264 and got to Window Rock and drove around but didn't stop anywhere; I couldn't figure out where to stop to touch it, and ended driving further north to Fort Defiance.
 

Fort Defiance - Just drove around looking... It was a strange place; an Indian town of a defying kind, that gripped your soul; I felt it was like us - holding on in defiance of the present - for the ashes to rise; things that will change everything; back to before, when we too were God's children. 

An old church stood at the turn of the road - beautiful and forbidding; it halted me in remembrance; not welcoming me; I wanted to understand; It saw me as I asked for ourselves, when I stopped and without stepping out, I looked and took its image; the act of forbearance that was between us; perhaps... 

I drove past it and kept driving past the office of Indian Affairs to nowhere that wasn't mine, and then turned around and went back the way I came; on a way back, just at the point of leaving I suddenly saw - It was saying something to me;

I felt it, but could not understand the message, I felt sad and torn. 

I drove...


Going back to I-40 by way of 264 via St.Michaels to Ganado; these roads are not much traveled, there was nobody I could see in front nor behind me, even as I slowed to look at the woods; 264 there goes through the woods, and you can pull to the side of the road, but the woods are fenced by the barbed wire, so you can't really go there except by trespass; 

I drove through and then it changed to kind of desolate as I got to 191 and drove it south to I-40. I was looking to go to Painted Desert, which is where the Petrified Forest National Park is. 

I got to the park as the wind started to rise; stopped at the  visitors center, and when I got out the wind was already gusting making it hard to walk. 

Drove through the park in high winds, stopping here and there and walking around, taking in the sand storm and the pictures with both my phone and the fish-eye (my fish eye camera got messed up as well at some point there - a foggy spot on the pictures I took, probably some sand got blown by the wind into it). This sand storm was something else -  it was like a living creature - it saw you and rushed charging at you from far. 

Some pictures: 

Looking at strange reflections

Got out of the park at the other end and continued by 40 west, planning to drive to Flagstaff but decided to check out Holbrook. Holbrook is a strange dusty town; stranger than strange. I wanted to stop at the library but it was closed. 

There was a visitors center nearby and for some reason I decided to stop there. It was strange as well. The door you had to pull hard to open. Then a dark hall and a few steps up an older dude waiting for you. I've asked for a map, and got one, and then he tells me that the road to Flagstaff is closed due to high winds until tomorrow. Any parks around where I can sleep in a car, I asked. Not really he said, you may try the city park but be aware of thiefs. Do you have any valuables in your car? he asked. Nothing but dirty clothes and an old sleeping bag, I said. You may try it, but you may check this out, he said giving me a broshure with cheap motels; there were a couple for 25 a night. He showed me on a map how to get there. It was on Hope street. Be carefull parking there, he said. 

I said goodbye and left; it started to rain a snowstorm was coming. 

I drove to Hope street looking for a hotel. There were 2 that I decided to try. The first I rang up but nobody came; I went to another it was open but nobody was there. I was about to leave when a woman came out. She was an indian woman, I thought, Hopi I thought right away, although I've never seen one before. I asked for the room, she said she had one. I asked price and she said $30. I showed her a broshure that showed it at $25. She looked at me and said $30. We looked at each other and I knew that she was a witch. OK I said, let me look at the room. No, she said. It's a room do you want it or not. OK I said, I'll take it. She gave me paperwork, I filled it, got $30 and she took the key out, and we exchanged it. I went upstrairs to the room, it was on a second floor and walked in. It was a run down place, even worse inside than outside, but I didn'tcare. I plugged my computer in to check mail and I wanted to write down, this post, but I saw that my glasses were gone. I couldn't find them anywhere, and I thought I had them just before. I must have used them to fill out the paperwork. I went down to the office, but she was gone. There was not a trace of her and she didn't come when I rang. I went outside thinking maybe I dropped them somewhere. I had a strange recollection of that moment when we exchanged key and paperwork, it was as if there was moment when I was gone, and I knew she took it from me then. But I didn't want to believe it and thought maybe I left it in the visitors center, so I drove there, and asked the guy there; he remembered me having glasses and looked around but they were not there. Where are you staying he asked. I told him. He looked at me with strange look. Good luck he said.

I went back to motel. She still wasn't there, but there was a strange group of people that looked like a thievery bunch, they followed my path to the room; I got concerned for the car, leaving it at night there, but it was what it was. 

The loss of glasses bothered me a lot, I knew she got them, but what bothered me most that she got me so easy. How she's done it. Because I thought I was above it. 

--- So here is where I got tired and went to sleep --

In the morning I got out, the storm was over, the road open, I went to the office and returned the key. I asked her if she saw my glasses. She looked at me and smiled, I smiled back. I liked her that witch, she was probably my age but looked young and ageles, she was stocky and strong, and she liked me. That was her trophy, and I've got a lesson in return.

=========== from short notes -----

 In the morning went to flagstaff, got there about noon  

Went for a hike in the mountains 2.5 miles but it was up to the lookout point. Good hike. 

Went to library but got out. 

Got out of flagstaff around 6pm - ate pizza in pizza hut, i like that pizza. On a way there was a most spectacular sunset! 

 Drove to the Lake Havasu, drove to the state park, there was a gate but was open, it was a self pay $20 a night, you had to put envelope into a slot on a pole there but there were no envelopes; drove through but didn't go to a campground instead drove to a state park parking lot; wasn't too bad but not great. 

Went to sleep at about 10 but woke up at 3 and had hard time sleeping afterwards.. Pulled out of the park - was concerned not to get caught there, didn't go looking for showers; this place is small and just concrete mostly everywhere. Instead got out of the park and drove to marina next to it and am sitting there facing the lake as the sun came out. Swallows flying all over having breakfast on insects.

 NIGHT APRIL 9-10 

 I need to figure my next destination. And that is not trivial - do I go inland or to the shore? I think INLAND. I HAVE 20'days and need to cut in. I do want to get to Seattle, but will I? I'm missing them and him especially. 

 Commercial and residential infestation


To lake Isabella, 58, 395. 14, 178. What a road 

it's been a while - Archipelago days and nights

Echolalia   Production It is clear that I will not be able to write down most of what happened after I left Albuquerque, even that it is reverbarating into my present by the universal law of Echolalia, where nothing is lost, and convergence of different reverberations of events of the past, get restored through a magnificent reincarnation by yet another mysterious force in my memory. Or perhaps not only mine.

It is is a real phenomena, and it brings me to the Introduction about the Water and the Memory, and the Theory of Mind that I was supposed to write 3 years ago, when I started this blog.

I will attempt it now, but before I do, let me post out the few drafts that sat ther for 3 years awaiting my return.

Arhipelago 14-21 Texas-New Mexico

 Journeying   Autistic  Archipelago   

Safe Haven

Posting from Home  (backtracking) 
Notes written in Holbrook, Arizona

Continuing from: Archipelago 11-14 Mississippi-Louisiana-Texas

Mar 31 - April 8 TEXAS - NEW MEXICO

Sunday, March 31 - Easter Sunday. 

Dawn finds me driving towards El Paso. I'm starting to like the country. It's a whole different deal from the leg towards Austin. One day I'd like to spend more time here...

My camera stopped working. I think sand at Rutherford Beach got in, it also got bumped a bit at one point and the shutter didn't want to open afterwards, but then some time later it grudgingly worked. Now it is dead. I've recharged the battery, but the shutter still doesn't open...

Got to El Paso around 10:30am - gained an hour on the time zone change. I decided to continue and get to Albuquerque today, but I also wanted to see El Paso and perhaps leave "Loud Hands" there. It won't be in a library this time; I didn't have time for that. This was Easter Sunday and I wanted to stop at the church. I looked it up - The Cathedral Parish of St. Patrick, the mother church of the Diocese of El Paso. 

It was just about 3 miles away from the place where I entered El Paso when I looked it up on my Ipad; I punched Cathedral into my phone's GPS, but didn't notice that it picked Cathedral Drive instead; ended up driving on a loop to the outskirts of the city, and then back, but missed the turn coming out, and was sent back to the loop I just traveled, which was being repaired sending me 7 miles off and had to drive back again. Eventually got to the Cathedral just after the Mass; people coming out; I went in and sat dawn on a side bench, as people congregated outside.  

What did I pray for? I don't know; I think it was Faith, I need faith; how can I ever change things for him if I don't have Faith?

I came out as people started coming in for the next Mass - there were people coming in, greeting people that were still outside from the previous Mass. It was sunny and warm;  I sat down on a stone bench outside, in a corner where it was out of the way, looking at people greeting each other all dressed up. This was Easter Sunday, Day of Resurrection.

Then I took a book (Loud Hands - I had it in my little backpack) and placed it in a converging corner where the bench ended and the wall rose.  I took a picture of it discretely with my phone and walked away and then, before driving away, I took a picture of  the Cathedral. 
I wished for the book...

I thought about it some time before, regarding where The Church stands in regard to Autistic people; I thought it viewed us as a diseased people; but then it itself is in transition, searching for redemption. 

I don't go to church, but sometimes I like to go there, between the sermons, and sit where I want, and look and listen to its sounds, undisturbed, and maybe wishing for a miracle of a kind - a priest who would open his heart and understand.  A true priest, can do miracles... One priest, just one true priest...

I got in a car and drove towards New Mexico. Entering New Mexico on 25 is a sight to behold! I had no camera any more, but the habit of recording that I have developed during this trip was wanting out. I opened the note book, and started to write in it without looking, while driving; just recording there, where I would've snapped a picture on a way.

Mile 68 - Oh my God; Behold Your Creation! 
73- Truth or Consequences -75   
76 - Road into the Sky 
79 - Mirage  
<-- 86, 87 -->  Ravine 94 , 101, 102 - I draw mountains on both sides 
107 - Nogal Canyon

Mile 117,  some 90 miles from Albuquerque; I needed to stop for gas; and then there was a truck stop; 

To fill up you have to go inside to pay. I walked in; it was an interesting place; had it's own character; there was a shelf of books on a right just as you walk in, and the place opened like a doubled up train car with a partitioning wall in a middle; this wall wasn't solid and had openings on a window level so you could see from one side to the other somewhat. The owner was a middle-aged man; I knew that place was his right away - same character of content... 

I gave him my credit card, went out, filled up, came back, paid, and went to the bathroom - on a way out I looked at the books - they were really interesting; there were some good many books there, I thought - some 8 or more rows with at least 10 books in a row - but I didn't count, it might be different. I asked him if he sells them; he said yes, and I also let people (customers) read them as well, he said; I saw that already myself - there was a woman at one of the tables lining the side wall, drinking something and reading; the place was also a diner of a kind. 

I'd like to leave you a book, I said; It just came out. OK, he said, and added after a short pause - I'll trade you; Take any book you like. OK, I said and went to the car and brought "Loud Hands". This was better than library, I thought - it'll be read. I gave it to him, he took it, sat down and opened it.  I can take any book? I asked. Yes, he said. My hand went and took a book from the shelf; it was - "York: A Slave's Journey with Lewis and Clark, by Brad Phillips".  

I looked at other books; each different, there were many interesting titles, but I didn't switch. Later on, while reading it, I thought how strange it was that I took that book and not any other book - it was as if it was there for me. The things there - the culture and the vocabulary of the slavery, and the inability of the best people of their time to understand, no matter the many proofs to the contrary - it was as if it was describing what is happening to us. The best people of their time - Jefferson himself, fathering and justifying the axioms of suppression and segregation.

I kept driving towards Albuquerque; I had a friend there - A True Friend  - going back to the time we were growing up...

NIGHT 14-20  IN SAFE HAVEN  - at a friend's house in Albuquerque, NM

I'm out of Albuquerque next Sunday, April 7. What was I doing there for so long?

[Took showers, slept in bed, ate home made food. 

Fools day went without recollection 
Met my friend's extended family
Had an overload 
But was able to safe face; I think...

Went for a hike in the mountains with oldies

Met Ian and his family
Got jealous a bit but in a good way
Went to Autistic meet-up and 
Met different people
Some content and some distraught

Serviced my car

Read Ian's book and the Slave's Journey
Worked on my notes - didn't finish, 

But had to go... ]

Parting shots Saturday night, April 6, from a park in Albuquerque, taken by my smart phone.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Got out of Albuquerque on Sunday, April 7 just after Noon. Didn't get far. 

Got off I-40 to 412 and drove some 18 Miles south to the Bluewater Lake State Park. 

This shot of a small native village is on a way to the lake taken by smart phone ->

And this one from my Fish-Eye camera that I've mounted on my dash - some place on a way there 

Got there around 3 pm+. There was a ranger at the entrance to the park and an $8 fee. I didn't have change so we drove to the office but it was closed; he opened it and went in but couldn't find the change there either.  Asked me to pay in the morning if I decide to stay overnight. 

I parked by the water and went for a walk in the surrounding woods, hills surrounding the lake - decided to stay. The lake is not large and not very exiting, but it's a rarity in NM - it's a lake! 

A lot of local native people there at day time, and a handful at night. 

NIGHT 21   April 7-8 

Slept on a shore in a car with popped hatch - head out facing the water - that would be  straight down from the rocks in this photo  --->

It was a good night, and not a bad place - a decent place really, a good place for a few days...

Here are a couple of pix of the lake by the Fish-Eye.  Gives a different perspective. Somewhere there between the two is my own - the way I see it.

Enlarge and take a good look at the soil there; 

Yeah...

Paid $8 in the early morning to a nice smiley middle aged native woman; made use of their facilities - shaved, washed and was on my way still in the early morning driving back north to I-40 and then towards Gallup.

From I-40 got off to 491 and then to 264 - heading to Window Rock and Fort Defiance.

Crossed to Arizona somewhere there ...  (to be continued)